How do you learn to live again after the devastating loss of your baby?
How do you carry on in the face of such heartache?
That has been the challenging journey that Chrissie Maitland has had to travel over the last 7 years after losing her beautiful son Ryan.
Read her inspirational and emotional story about how running has helped her rediscover who she is after everything she’s been through.
Chrissie, I am so proud of what you are doing to raise awareness and for your courage. Keep going, we are all behind you x
The day our lives changed
23rd September 2012 was a beautiful sunny Sunday with clear blue skies, a day I’ll never forget.
It was the one and only day I got to see and hold my 2nd born, Ryan, who was born sleeping.
A few days before I was lying atop a hospital bed, belly covered in cold gel and full of the excited anticipation of getting to see my baby at my 19-week scan.
It was a family affair with my husband next to me holding my hand and our one year old on his knee.
“Look, Cammy, there’s your little brother or sister. There’s your baby.”
After what felt like an age of the midwife clicking and asking me to shoogle about, she spoke:
“I’m so sorry Christine, but your baby has no heartbeat.”
Learning to live again
7 years on its been an emotional rollercoaster of learning how to live again.
How to be me again with the thoughts of what if? and if only? tumbling through my mind.
One way that connects me to Ryan is running. I lace up my trainers, stick my headphones in and run.
I feel closer to him when I’m running, I can feel him with me urging me on to live life not just for him and his brothers, but for me too.
A special day
Losing a baby teaches you just how precious life is which is why I’m determined to remember my baby by doing something positive.
I used my pain and grief to power me through the Scottish Half Marathon raising funds for SANDS, the stillbirth, and neonatal death charity, completing the race in a provisional time of 1 hour 48 and have already raised £500.
The race falls the day before Ryan’s 7th birthday and at a time when I could/should be sad, I wanted to look at that sky and smile, knowing my baby boy is proud.
To sponsor Chrissie, go to her Just Giving page.