Suffering from anxiety is something that many of us have encountered. It’s with you constantly, filling your head with fear and panic.
Diane White from Kirkcaldy has experienced it for years, but has finally had enough.
This is her first blog in a series for the Queendom as she begins her journey to rid herself of the condition that’s cursed her.
Hello anxiety, my old friend
I got into the car with Mark, my husband.
He was a chauffeur at the time and had a strong Radio 4 addiction.
I listened as the woman on the radio began spouting forth the most horribly bigoted views.
My jaw dropped; I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I started to rant about how ignorant, and above all stupid this woman was, and that I couldn’t believe that Mark could sit there and listen to it without so much as a disapproving grimace, of which he is generally a master.
On and on I went, until I noticed a smirk curling at the corner of Mark’s lip. I stopped, drew breath and the penny dropped.
He was listening to the Afternoon Drama. The bigoted woman was an actress playing a character.
An ominous silence fills the car before I begin to cry.
Howling is probably a more appropriate word for what I’m doing, tears, snot, and unintelligible noises are emanating from me at an alarming rate. Why?
Because I’d committed the heinous crime of making a mistake, and now I looked foolish.
So stupid, how was I going to get over this?
Hello anxiety my old friend.
For as long as I can remember anxiety has been part of my life.
When things like this happen, it can go one of two ways, I can either laugh it off or I can crumble.
I’ve spent a lot of my 42 years crumbling.
I don’t want there to be less and less of me left because I’m so concerned with how I’m viewed, even by those who love me most.
I’m working on it…actively.
The last few weeks and months have been the most interesting of my life, it’s a journey that makes me excited and proud.
Let’s just hope I don’t look foolish along the way.
Look out for the next instalment in Diane’s journey, coming soon.